today at starbucks this girl ordered a drink and told them to put the name “primrose everdeen” on the cup and when the barista called out the name she screamed “i volunteer as tribute” and everyone just stared at her
one night two parents went out for dinner
a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room
the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue
when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers
in english class were watching this movie called babel or w/e and theres a scene where some kid started jerking off and my teacher wasnt paying attention and someone was like um theres a kid masturbating in this movie and my teacher literally screamed NO and leapt across the room to cover the screen with her body
do you think when johnny depp agrees to be in a movie with a different director he goes home at night and tim burton is just there with his face pressed against the window and johnny has to close the curtains to avoid feeling guilty
okay so I watch little bear regularly and
I didn’t realize how loud I was laughing until my sister came to check on me.
Let’s get down to business.